My Ode to 2020

2020 has taught me some of the most overwhelmingly and poetically sad lessons of my life and I could not be more grateful for all of the growth and challenges.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to find the absolute beauty in all loss. Loss in purpose, relationships, and in the mortality of life truly changes and shapes each individual for better or worse, the direction is determined by you. I really contemplated writing this blog post, however my grandmother passed away the final week of December, and in my rawest emotion felt the need to voice my lessons. Within 2020 my friendship circle completely shifted, I let go of my best friend of 6 years, and watched one of the strongest women i’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, health completely deteriorate. I can sit here and positively say however, I wouldn’t have changed this year for absolutely anything and I can wave 2020 away with a smile. I have learned to appreciate the past for what it simply is, but realizing there is so many more amazing moments, people, and experiences out there just waiting for me to live and meet them.The one thing in life I can control is myself and no matter what I grow and go through I can still seek happiness within myself.

When you throw your hands up in life and let life take control, truly knowing that whatever is suppose to happen in life will happen, life genuinely changes. To be able to live in the most present way, peace and tranquility will find you. No other year has taught me such a powerful lesson than what you think, do, and feel 100% affects your life, which is so comforting and scary at the same time. Making conscious decisions everyday of your life will only shift your life into a positive and more fulfilling direction. Whoever and whatever should be in your life will always be and you will never have to struggle or chase anything that’s meant to be yours. Always remember if it could’ve been any other way, it would’ve been. When I stopped forcing so many things in life, and genuinely sought after making myself happy, I finally found some sense of true contentment and happiness that I have NEVER been able to find before. I have had to look at my life and call myself out on a lot of shit and these are the lessons that changed me.

Always remember baby, no one wants it for you more than yourself, so why are you selling yourself short?! If you don’t think somewhere deep inside that you are worthy of happiness, or that job, or that car why would the universe give it to you. You need to absolutely know in your heart of hearts that you deserve to have your perfect body, your dream career, hot sex, and all of the beautiful moments of life, then go out and find it! The universe WILL give it to you, you just need to be willing to never accept anything less than what you want in life and be willing to let go of anything and everything that doesn’t serve that purpose.

While learning the painful lesson of letting go of the visions of your old life, the most important next step is building your current most amazing dream. If we all took a second to stop and think of all of the most astonishing things that surround us in this life its a wonder why we aren’t crying in constant happiness. We are surrounded by the most abundant universe, God, and Earth that gives us stars, and oceans, and pets and pasta and music, and all of the things that gives us true happiness that we should never take for granted. Every single day, no matter the circumstances you should still feel some sense of control and peace in your life. To be able to be completely enthralled and in love with my own life is a challenge I seek everyday, and this was one of my favorite lessons from this year.

Lastly, I would not be who I am today without my dear great-grandmother. My grandma like a true Capricorn was such an intelligent, beautiful, witty, bad ass of a force. She taught me everyday to keep my head up, kick ass, and true perseverance. My grandmother let me stay with her during parts of college and in the most beautiful way I feel we genuinely healed each other in unexpected ways. To be taken care of by a grandparent that truly loved simply sitting down, eating dinner, watching jeopardy, and just so genuinely happy to see me has healed me in ways that I truly can’t express. There are so many things about my grandmother that I will truly try to emulate and I will miss her forever. The day I was supposed to see my grandmother was the day she passed away, so I feel like I never got to tell her what she genuinely meant to me but I hope in my heart that she truly knew that. So learn my lesson and tell people every single day what they mean to you and don’t ever be scared of vulnerability. I would rather walk through this life loving and letting go then never loving at all. Text that person and tell them what they mean to you, call your mom and check on her, write a letter to your best friend, going into 2021 I want to spread and receive as much love as possible, because why the fuck not.

Even though this year was the biggest year of growth, I am definitely ready to say my goodbyes to 2020 and usher in the new year. This year alone I graduated college with my bachelors, sought out spirituality, learned to start over again, met my brother, depended on myself more than ever, went on beautiful hikes, and truly had the most perfect holiday season. I want to say thank you so much to my support system who pushes and supports me everyday. Without every phone call, late night, drunken moment, crying session, laughter filled conversations, I would not be here without you. To my mom, Birdi, family, old and new friends, you will never understand what you mean to me and how much I appreciate you. I hope we can all take 2020 as a learning lesson and jump into 2021 fearlessly and eagerly. This is the year our lives will continue to truly change and I am so excited to see the growth in everything and everyone. Find your dreams, work smartly, love indefinitely, laugh abundantly, and be your true authentic self everyday.

This blog, business, brand and support literally saved my life this year and I could not put into words what this project had meant to me. Thank you for reading my words, connecting with me, and following along my passions. I hope everyone had the best and safe New Years ever and I will see you in my next blog.

Cheers to our Twenty Somethings,

Rayna

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