My Tinder Do’s and Dont’s
Hello to all of my lovely people! Recently in the past year I came back to the dating scene after a long hibernation and learned about the adult dating scene for pretty much the first time in my life. Quickly, I came to realize that due to COVID most of my dating was going to have to be done through the infamous app scene. I came into the online dating world relatively clueless and unknowing of the bilaws that users knew when swiping. Through multiple cringey nights, dozens of matches, interesting dates and the fun adventure of my single life I learned quite quickly the hidden do’s and dont’s of the dating world and am here to pass on my knowledge to help guide you on your romantic journey. Unfortunately, there isn’t a book in Barnes and nobles that divulge into the intrinsic online world (trust me, I looked) so if this is your 100th tinder date, first match, or genuinely just curious about my opinion on this topic I hope I share some kind of wisdom that resonates with you. With confidence I hope you enjoy my blog.
DONT give people too much personal information too soon. First of all, there are real stalkers in this world so be sure to always protect yourself and your identity. Second, I will let you in on a little secret. People, especially men, LOVE talking about themselves, so keep the conversation on your partner. Now is the time to try and figure out as much as you can about the other person while you keep your mystery for as long as you can. The game is to be as smart with your cards while you learn the dealer.
DO have confidence!! I have said this before and will say it a million more times: BABY YOU ARE THE BADDEST BITCH OUT and that is all you ever need to know. Feel secure within your worth, don’t be scared to put yourself out there, and be your authentic self. Be different and unique and you will stand out to the ones that truly matter. People feel and feed off energy, and like vibrations and frequencies the higher you place yourself the more equivalent you will attract a match that your looking for.
DONT guilty swipe!! I did this a lot in the beginning where I justified swiping on people I really didn’t have any interest in, because I zoned in on one particular thing that I liked about their profile. Save yourself and the other person the time, because this is truly the first time you get to be picky. If you have no intention in having a conversation or meeting up with this person its okay to swipe left.
DO make the first meet up relatively in the day, public, and somewhat shorter. I learned quite quickly that first impressions are everything, and when meeting a lot of people it is easier to get a feel of a person off of a quick 30 minute meet up, then have to struggle through a long drawn out dinner when you know your not into it off the bat. Some meet ups that worked well for me are coffee dates, meeting up for drinks, or taking a walk around your favorite park. If you are looking for hookup culture these rules don’t necessarily apply to you, but make sure you always have a safe exit and someone always knows where you are.
DONT be careless and stay organized when dealing with multiple people. I learned quickly it was important to save numbers WITH pictures and where you met them. Also do not send them their own picture/profile back to them LOL. We have all been guilty of wanting to show close friends and family pictures of people we are talking to, but for the love of god don’t accidentally send them their own profile picture, like me. Overall, take a second to think about the things you say to people and always make sure you keep everything in your mind as organized as possible.
DO have fun! Dating is all about having fun and in general just meeting people and making connections. I had the awesome opportunity to meet a lot of interesting souls and characters, and within each date I learned a little bit about myself, the dating scene, and the world in general.
DONT have a boring ass profile. As a consistent swiper I automatically skipped profiles if they didn’t have multiple good pictures, some kind of interesting bio, and genuinely some kind of personality. It is also important to put recent and accurate information and pictures of yourself, there is someone for everyone out there and your doing a disservice to yourself if you meet someone under false pretenses and information (so no cat fishing).
DO always trust your judgement and be safe! Trust your gut and your instincts, they’re there to protect you and if a person or situation feels off it’s okay to walk away or unmatch. Your comfortability is the most important aspect so make sure to always have a safe way out, keep your senses about you, have a loved one have track your locations, and never ingest anything that seems suspicious. Always have your own back in all situations!
DONT get discouraged. It can take a while to find the perfect match that your looking for, but at long as your staying positive and true to yourself you will find your perfect person. Remember, the relationship you want is out there for you, you will never have to chase it or fight for it. The world works in divine timing, so sit back and enjoy the ride and stop worrying about the destination.
DO know what your looking for and be honest about it! It’s okay to be looking for casual hookups, a relationship, companionship, friendships, or even an entanglement, however it is important to make this clear to yourself and your partners. There is nothing worse than wasting someone else’s time, breaking someone else’s heart, or leading someone on due to you being neglectful of other peoples feelings. Try to practice clear communication from the start of any relationship, and all you can ever really do for people is be honest and clear.
There you have it folks, my tinder do’s and dont’s. It’s funny looking back on my journey from the start and looking at all of the lessons that I have learned about men and monogamy in general. Through Tinder I realized you can never take life or yourself too seriously, and I have become committed to enjoying my time moment to moment. I realized this topic was different than most other blog posts that I have read, and honestly this topic gives me Sex and the City vibes for sure. Let me know if you guys enjoyed reading about a different topic like this and I can put out more blogs directed into this niche. I wish you guys luck and love with your swiping and cheers to finding your perfect match!
Cheers to our Twenty-Somethings.
Rayna Archuleta
